Thursday, January 3, 2008

Celebrity Steph

"Cause when you’re a celebrity
It’s adios reality
You can act just like a fool
And people think you’re cool
Just cause [you're an expat].
I can throw a major fit
When my latte isn't just how I like it
They say I've gone insane
I'll blame it on the fame
And the pressures that go with....
Being a Celebrity"

-Celebrity lyrics (more or less), Brad Paisley

It may not be the conventional way to achieve celebrity status, but I think I have stumbled upon perhaps the easiest way to become a local celebrity. You don't have to be talented or think you're talented for this to work. Nor does it involve embarrassing stunts like leaking incriminating video tapes to the press, or being photographed wearing less than optimal clothing. It's simpler than that! All you have to do--are you listening? All it takes is casually dropping the following phrase into normal conversation as you run errands or go about your work. Just say, "I actually live in Switzerland right now, but I'm home for the holidays." POOF! Instant gushing sure to follow. :)

Or at least that's been my experience. Why didn't I think of this sooner--like years ago?? It works on almost any audience too, it seems. For example,
the Starbucks barista: "Oh, dude, that is sooo awesome. I love snowboarding; I've always wanted to go to Switzerland."
Or the Genealogy- but not necessarily geographically-minded. "Switzerland! I bet that's AMAZING. I'm half Swedish in fact."
Your elders: "That's wonderful, young lady! Such a good educational opportunity."
Your peers: "So-do you have a Swiss boyfriend yet?"
Your above-average criminal: "Cool. I always keep my money in Switzerland too."

So you see, no matter who you're talking to or what the circumstance is, you could be an instant celebrity too. Just remember, say it with a smile: "I actually live in Switzerland"


  1. Well, I'm glad my head hasn't exploded yet after 30 years of celebrity tripping... I get the added bonus of being Swiss and getting the requisite questions about skiing and cheese and knives and watches and bank accounts. Oh, and chocolate.